I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Fuck appropriateness.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
