i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
high people should be assigned attendants
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
