I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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