I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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