I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
