He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
