so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
