dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
