So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
