Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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