I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize