She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
