I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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