You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
