Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
