The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i drank out of a bidet.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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