I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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