my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
