I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
