I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
