first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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