my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
