I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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