I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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