I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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