I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
