Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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