He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Come see our sink grown plant.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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