he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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