R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
