I got chris browned last night
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
