She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
