best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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