ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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