we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
