k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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