i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
