Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
