I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
