So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
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