I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
