I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
