I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
