Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
