Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
