i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
