About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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