Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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