When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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