last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
