Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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