I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize