pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize