Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
