just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
