Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
