Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Randomize
