Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Also, beer. Big fan.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize