Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
