I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize