How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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