Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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