i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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