So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
